First of all, thanks for taking the time to read my entry a *few times*. It’s a long and winding piece, so that alone is awesome. Nevertheless, the idea that I wrote this piece as something “men need to hear and understand” is wrong. This is not a finger-wagging at men. The critique is of *my* society at large (especially growing up), which was made up of parents, teachers, friends and, yes, boys (who later became men), who all underlined this point for me through teaching and shaming. The answer to my critique is how I’ve had to work to root this B.S. out of my brain. The idea that men have some control over my worth through sex is something many of us “breathe” like smog. We can help but inhale this crap. It’s just a part of our culture.

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