I think it’s important to ethically take our lives and our pleasure into our own hands as women. If I would have written “on *its* own terms,” I would have been referring to the encounter, and yes, that’s passive. Like the encounter would decide the terms of any relationship for me, and no — of course I wanted to be the one deciding the terms for myself. But I do want to underline that I was never being predatory with men. (At least it wasn’t my intention.) More I was just being a hedonist, seeking pleasure. It’s always been my desire that we both just be adult about the whole thing, and have sex as equals instead of carrying out some antiquated battle of the sexes between the sheets.