With all due respect, this is really a question that only the most privileged women can ask of themselves. Staying home to take care of the kids is unfeminist? Why? Because having a career is the only way a woman can live up to her true potential?

That’s simply not true. Raising children is a noble cause. And besides, if a mother has the independent resources not to have to work for a living, it’s less a question of whether she’s a feminist or not and simply an example of her extreme privilege.

When I was lucky enough to be stay-home mom, I didn’t feel unfeminist — I felt entitled.

Now that I’m divorced and therefore *have to* work, this is not an example of my feminism but is a question of survival.

I often have to take jobs that have nothing to do with my career aspirations. I need to make money to put food on the table.

The fact that I now have to go out to earn a living as a mom also shows my economic insecurity and therefore how I’m more at risk of suffering the disadvantages of being female.

Same goes with how I clean my own house. Doing so doesn’t make me any less of a feminist. It just means I don’t have the resources to pay another woman to do it.

I think there are deeper issues at play here.

Former Playboy writer. Professional over-sharer. L.A.-based. More about me: my.bio/theformerlymrs Support: ko-fi.com/ellesilver

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